It’s been awhile.
Yeah, seriously, it’s been over six m0nths since I last posted, and I think that’s a little ridiculous. I was incredibly excited when I started this blog but I think the idea of writing posts so often intimidated me and I felt overwhelmed… leading to procrastination. Then school started and I got pretty busy, whether it was doing homework or hanging out with friends, there was always an “excuse” not to write on my blog. But now I have the perfect excuse to write.
I started A Little Less Lonely for people like me who struggle with their mental health and dealing with everyday problems in teen life. For me, school is something that’s very hard for me to deal with, and it often throws me into a depressed state where I don’t feel like my usual self. I become more irritable, impulsive and insecure.
So here’s a “quick” update:
School started and things were going well. I had all my work done on time and was making pretty good grades. I had my 16th birthday and got to go to a Pierce the Veil concert, and that’s a band I absolutely love. Everything went well for several months but the winter is always hard for me due to the weather, but also based on the fact that we’re sorta in the middle of the school year and I feel kinda trapped.
December I started getting depressed again, but it was still a good month for me. I hung out with one of my best friends over winter break and started playing my new favorite game, Overwatch (D.va/Mercy main!)
January I went on vacation to Cancun in Mexico which was super fun. The weather was amazing and it was a really beautiful place. I loved hearing the different languages everyone spoke at the resort we stayed at. There was a lot of Spanish and French.
Late January and February was when things really started getting bad for me. I got behind on my school work and withdrew from all social activities and didn’t want to hang out with my friends as often.
I don’t wanna sugarcoat this stuff and act like it’s somehow super easy to overcome this kinda stuff. It is very much the opposite of that. So I’ll tell you what really happened even though it’s kind of embarrassing.
At school, I had an argument with a teacher that made me so angry I ended up shaking, and even raising my voice/being “disrespectful” to a teacher that was causing complications for me. I went to see counselors but ended up getting angry and throwing my phone. My phone is now half broken. RIP phone, can only use the upper half of it.
My anxiety got worse and worse. It’s been terrible and hard to deal with. And, you know what, there’s no reason to hide that. Part of recovering from depression is accepting the bad and learning positive ways to cope.
I think that’s really important. If you’re depressed, things may be awful for you now, but there is always a chance at improvement, even if you don’t completely believe it yourself. After working through challenges, you could be looking back on the time you felt that bad and thinking about how much you improved.
Currently, I don’t go to my high school for anything but French class and “Personal Development.” I do the rest of my classes online in a program connected with my school. It’s really helped me and it makes sure that I’m still in a somewhat social environment so that I can get work done but not be socially isolated.
Doing a lot better right now, and I guess what made me want to come back was the realization that so many other people have felt or do feel as bad as I did. I don’t want anyone to have to go through that horrible time alone. Everyone deserves an ally.
I’m here for you.